GROUP WORK FOR UNIT 2

3D
Content 6 / 10
Organisation 6 / 10
Language use 5 / 10

  1.  "I am the highly analytical, detail-oriented and hard-working person I have superior technical and scientific abilities.
    • Too many descriptive words
    • Sentence structure
    • Punctuation
    • Repetitive
  2.  "Of course, developed devices then require testing of the prototypes, which I can carry out in the laboratory to ensure they are function proper."
    • Tone
    • Sentence structure
  3.  "I enjoy working as a mechanical engineer. Because I find it gratifying to be able to solve complex problems."
    • Connecting words
  4.  Use of examples.
    • There should be relevant examples to support his strengths
  5. "I would like to schedule an interview"
    • Use words that allows the reader to make the decision
  6.  He uses multiple of "I"s in his letter.
  7.  Structure / organisation of the letter:
    • Subject - Put in the role that he is applying for
    • Sincerely - Comma for consistency
    • Signing off - Not a need to put address


3E

Content 6 / 10
Organisation 7 / 10
Language use 7 / 10
  1.  Content is too long winded and no factual statements to support his proposal.
    • Numbers
    • Dates
    • Costs
  2.  Ending was too long, one sentence was sufficient.
    • "Your consideration of my proposal is greatly appreciated."
  3.  Addition of enclosure: "Enclosure: Proposal"

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